


Soul Songs

by parchmentandpencils



Series: The Golden Trio [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Blood Quill (Harry Potter), Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Gen, The Golden Trio
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-26 05:01:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20924576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parchmentandpencils/pseuds/parchmentandpencils
Summary: When everyone’s soul song is played in the Great Hall in fifth year, as part of the Ministry’s attempt to take over Hogwarts, everyone finds out surprising truths about the Golden Trio’s life.





	1. Hermione Granger

**Author's Note:**

> One day, ONE DAY, I will write a happy story 😂

A voice rang out across the Great Hall, sickly sweet.

”Today’s classes have been cancelled. Please remain in the Hall, for we will be playing everyone’s soul songs, which will play alongside their memories to show everyone if any _lies_ have been spread.” She aimed a glare at one Harry Potter, who glared defiantly back.

All across the Hall, a cacophony of noise was exploding.

”She can’t do this!”

”I refuse to do this!”

”... my father will hear about this!”

”SILENCE!” Umbridge screamed. “I _WILL _HAVE ORDER!”

Everyone quieted in the face of her anger.

”Now,” she continued, voice back to sweet. “We will start with the seventh years, and make our way down to first year.”

And so it begun. Harry, Ron and Hermione sat in silence, each worried about what their memories would be.

It seemed an age, but finally they were onto the fifth years.

”Hermione Granger!”

Hermione stood and allowed the spell to wash over her. A male voice began to sing.

_(When this began)_  
_ I had nothing to say_  
_ And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me_

Hermione was being pushed down in a primary school playground by other children. They ripped up her books and started calling her names. 

“Nerd!”

“Geek!”

“Know-it-all!”

Hermione did not make a sound until the bullies had run off, and while she stood up, a single tear ran down her cheek. She wiped it away and walked off with her chin in the air.

  
_(I was confused)_  
_ And I let it all out to find_  
_ That I'm not the only person with these things in mind_  
_ (Inside of me)_  
_ But all the vacancy the words revealed_  
_ Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel_

Hermione sat, sobbing, in the public library. The librarian walked past, looking at her, but not offering her help or a shoulder to cry on. This made her cry harder. After a while, she wiped her tears by herself and walked out of the building. She knew that no one would ever help her during her daily torment.

  
_(Nothing to lose)_  
_ Just stuck, hollow and alone_  
_ And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own_  
  
_ I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real_  
_ I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long_  
_ (Erase all the pain 'til it's gone)_

Hermione ran a blade across her wrist. She looked about 10 or 11. She sat in a bathroom and watched the crimson blood flow from the newest cuts that sat on her forearm. She closed her eyes and heard a door open and close.

”Hermione? Come down, darling!”

She wrapped her arm in a bandage from the bathroom cupboard, and went downstairs.

  
_I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real_  
_ I wanna find something I've wanted all along_  
_ Somewhere I belong_

Hermione gazed up at Hogwarts in awe. It was mirrored in Harry, Ron, and Neville’s faces. She listened to McGonagall’s speech and the Sorting Hat’s song. Finally, somewhere where people could understand her.

  
_And I've got nothing to say_  
_ I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face_  
_ (I was confused)_  
_ Looking everywhere only to find_  
_ That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind_

Hermione was being ridiculed when she, Harry and Neville had lost all those points from Gryffindor. Why did she think it would be any different from primary school? Everywhere she went, she was bullied.

  
_(So what am I?)_  
_ What do I have but negativity_  
_ 'Cause I can't justify the way, everyone is looking at me_  
_ (Nothing to lose)_  
_ Nothing to gain, hollow and alone_  
_ And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own_  
  
Hermione was crying in the dorms when Harry and Ron wouldn’t talk to her in third year. She didn’t have her knife, but she scratched and dug her nails in her arm. Instantly, she felt relief, and sighed when she felt the sharp pain of her nails.

  
_I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real_  
_ I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long_  
_ (Erase all the pain 'til it's gone)_  
_ I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real_  
_ I wanna find something I've wanted all along_  
_ Somewhere I belong_

Harry and Hermione were walking along the lake on the day after Halloween in fourth year. Harry suddenly turned and hugged her.

”Thanks, Hermione. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”  
  
_I will never know myself until I do this on my own_  
_ And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed_  
_ I will never be anything 'til I break away from me_  
_ I will break away, I'll find myself today_

Hermione was showing her mother the newest cuts, shame in her eyes. Her mother hugged her. 

“Don’t worry, we’ll get you some help.”  
  
_I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real_  
_ I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long_  
_ (Erase all the pain 'til it's gone)_  
_ I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real_  
_ I wanna find something I've wanted all along_  
_ Somewhere I belong_

Hermione had her arms around Harry and Ron as they made their way back from Hogsmeade in the snow.  
  
_I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong_  
_ I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong_  
_ Somewhere I belong_

Hermione hugged Harry and Ron in turn after the Chamber of Secrets incident.

**

Hermione stood proudly as the song faded out. Harry and Ron hugged her as she returned to her seat.

”Miss Granger, I would like a word with you when the songs are finished,” McGonagall called out.

Hermione just nodded and sat down between her boys. They waited in a tight embrace until the next member of their trio was called.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hermione's song: Somewhere I belong by Linkin Park


	2. Harry Potter

Harry knew the moment his name would be called. His stomach tensed with nerves, unsure about what memories the song would bring.

"Harry Potter!"

Harry extracted himself from the trio's embrace, and walked into the middle of the Great Hall with his head held high. He detachedly noticed that everyone was leaning forward slightly, but he allowed the spell to engulf him. A male voice started singing, and Harry closed his eyes and let the song of his soul surround him.

**

_Take me down to the river bend_

_Take me down to the fighting end_

_Wash the poison from off my skin_

_Show me how to be whole again_

Harry was being carried upstairs to a nursery. The face of Lily Potter came into view, and she barricaded the door after dropping Harry into his crib. The door was blasted open anyway and Lily took up a defensive position in front of the crib - without her wand.

"Stand aside, girl!"

"No! Not Harry! Take me instead!"

"Stand aside, and you don't need to die!"

"No! Kill me instead!"

"Avada Kedavra!"

The Hall saw the light leave Lily Potter's eyes as she fell, dead before she hit the ground.

"Mama?"

"Your mother is dead, Prophecy Child! Now for you. Avada Kedavra!"

"MAMA!"

As the green light hit Harry on the forehead, it suddenly rebounded upon its caster. With a cry of rage, Voldemort fell.

_Fly me up on a silver wing_

_Past the black where the sirens sing_

_Warm me up in a nova's glow_

_And drop me down to the dream below_

Harry was being shoved in his cupboard, where he blacked out. It was clear that he was injured from the way he lay with his limbs at awkward angles. The scene shifted to a gentle glow inside a sea of black, and the audience realised they were inside Harry's mind. Someone shimmered out of the darkness. It was an apparition of one Lily Potter. 

"Oh, my baby," she said sadly, stroking the cheek of the persona of the boy in his mind. He was unconscious even in the depths of his own mind. Lily kissed his forehead and shimmered back out of existence. 

The memory ended when Harry woke up in the real world, only seconds later.

_'Cause I'm only a crack in this castle of glass_

_Hardly anything there for you to see_

_For you to see_

Harry was waking up in the Hospital wing. Consecutive images rushed by: Saving the philosopher's stone, pulling a basilisk fang out of his arm, saving Sirius and himself with the Patronus charm.

_Bring me home in a blinding dream_

_Through the secrets that I have seen_

_Wash the sorrow from off my skin_

_And show me how to be whole again_

Harry was touching the Cup with Cedric, which turned out to be a Portkey. 

"Kill the spare!"

Harry was crying over Cedric's body when they returned, one alive, one dead.

The summer after fourth year, Harry was screaming after a nightmare. Vernon blasted the door in with his foot, and started to scream at Harry. When Harry did not respond, stuck in a flashback, he pounded his fists all over Harry's thin body, and left Harry bleeding, bruised, hungry and depressed.

_'Cause I'm only a crack in this castle of glass_

_Hardly anything there for you to see_

_For you to see_

Harry was carving the words "I must not tell lies" into his hand, while Umbridge watched on with a sadistic smile.

He went to McGonagall because he was getting so much detention, only to be told to "keep his head down". The Hall watched as a little hope faded in Harry's eyes as he left McGonagall's office, head bowed.

_'Cause I'm only a crack in this castle of glass_

_Hardly anything else I need to be_

Harry was being brutally submitted to Legilimency by Snape, and with each failure, Harry grew more depressed, and Snape more angry.

_'Cause I'm only a crack in this castle of glass_

_Hardly anything there for you to see_

_For you to see_

_For you to see_

The music faded out, and before anyone knew it, Harry was sitting back with Ron and Hermione, their arms wrapped tightly around him, and his arms around them.

"Mr Potter! I would like to see you too," McGonagall said loudly. 

Harry nodded and the Golden Trio settled back into their embrace, watching and waiting for Ron's name to be called.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harry's song: Castle of Glass by Linkin Park.
> 
> I was going to put one of their songs as Seventeen from Heathers the Musical - the version sung by Robert Manion and Mariah Rose Faith that's posted on YouTube on Mariah's channel is beautiful - but it didn't fit any of them. Give it a listen anyway, I promise you won't be disappointed :)


	3. Ron Weasley

Ron knew the second he was about to be called from the slight smile mixed with concern that crossed McGonagall's face. He began to free himself from their huddle with resignation.

"In a few minutes," he told himself, "everything will be out in the light."

"Ronald Weasley!"

Ron stood up, knowing exactly what kinds of memories would be shown. A female voice began to sing.

**

_We're not in love_   
_We share no stories_   
_Just something in your eyes_

Ron had accidentally broken Fred and George's toy broomstick. He began to wail, ashamed of what he had done.

Fred came into the room, but stopped short when he saw what had happened. His wide eyes narrowed, and Ron's teddy bear turned into a spider. Ron began to cry harder. 

"Fwed? I'm sowwy Fwed! FWED!" 

But Fred stalked out of the room as fast as his small legs would carry him, ignoring Ron's apologies, spoken by his small mouth. 

_Don't be afraid  
_The shadows know me_  
_Let's leave the world behind__

Ron was walking further from the Burrow, seeing if anyone would follow. He spent two hours out, but when he returned home, no one noticed. 

_Take me through the night_   
_Fall into the dark side_   
_We don't need the light_   
_We'll live on the dark side_   
_I see it, let's feel it_   
_While we're still young and fearless_   
_Let go of the light_   
_Fall into the dark side_   
_Fall into the dark side_   
_Give into the dark side_   
_Let go of the light_   
_Fall into the dark side_

Ron was walking to the lake near the Burrow. He held in his hand a note, simply saying "I'm sorry." He took off his shoes and lowered himself into the water. He looked eleven or twelve. 

Memories flashed by. Molly blaming Ron for things that Ginny or the twins had done, the twins calling him a waste of space mockingly, Draco insulting his family. He closed his eyes against another barrage of memories, but they were more pleasant. 

Harry and Hermione hugging him, Harry and Hermione's cries when he got struck down by the chess board, Harry mock-fighting him when he won at chess. And that was enough to make him get back out of the water. He sat there for close to an hour, before falling asleep. The next thing he knew, he was in his big brother Bill's arms. 

_Beneath the sky_   
_As black as diamonds_   
_We're running out of time_   
_Don't wait for truth_   
_To come and blind us_   
_Let's just believe their lies_

Ron was in fourth year, after the first task. He felt like dirt because he didn't believe Harry. Harry came into the dorm room, and pulled Ron into a comforting hug. Ron and Harry both lost it, crying like the world would end. 

_Believe it, I see it_   
_I know that you can feel it_   
_No secrets worth keeping_   
_So fool me like I'm dreaming_

Ron, Hermione and Harry were sat in front of the fire in the common room. They were telling spooky stories to each other, and laughing extremely hard. 

_Take me through the night_   
_Fall into the dark side_   
_We don't need the light_   
_We'll live on the dark side_   
_I see it, let's feel it_   
_While we're still young and fearless_   
_Let go of the light_   
_Fall into the dark side_   
_Fall into the dark side_   
_Give into the dark side_   
_Let go of the light_   
_Fall into the dark side_

"What is there for us three here?" Ron asked. "Let's run away." 

Hermione and Harry thought. They were both for it, but as they snuck through the corridors with shrunken trunks in their pockets, they were caught by Snape, had 10 points taken from them each, and had a detention each. 

"We'll try again in a few months."

_Take me through the night_   
_Fall into the dark side_   
_We don't need the light_   
_We'll live on the dark side_   
_I see it, let's feel it_   
_While we're still young and fearless_   
_Let go of the light_   
_Fall into the dark side_

The trio were sat on the floor in a circle, in a mess of tears. They had each described their emotional and physical torment. 

"Don't ever leave me," Ron whispered.

**

The song ended, and the trio were sat much like they were in the last memory before anyone knew it. Their secrets were now all out, and they didn't know how to deal with it. 

"Misters Weasley and Potter, Miss Granger, please see me in my office right now. Someone else can take over the spell casting," McGonagall said.

The trio exchanged looks and followed her, Hermione's hands in Harry and Ron's. After all, how much more worse could it get? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ron's song: Darkside by Alan Walker
> 
> If anyone wants to PM me about any of the song choices, feel free to. :)


	4. Repercussions

Once the Trio made their way into their Head of House's office, she gestured for them to sit down, which they did, still holding hands.

"We'll start with you, Miss Granger. I have called your parents, and they will be here any second now, through a Portkey."

Hermione's parents suddenly appeared out of nowhere. They rushed forward to their daughter and hugged her. Ron and Harry let her have her space. Once they were all sat down, McGonagall resumed.

"Do you mind rolling up your sleeves, Miss Granger?" Hermione acquiesced. Her parents didn't react that much, and neither did Harry and Ron, as they had all seen the scars before.

McGonagall, however, looked... upset. Probably because she hadn't seen the white lines crisscrossing Hermione's flesh. Harry and Ron had traced the scars and asked what each of them represented, so they were intimate with the network of scars on her arm.

"...Why?"

"Well, you saw the memories. I... I was being bullied so much and I hurt so badly. I slipped with the knife one day while I was washing up, and it made me feel so much better." Here, she paused. Her boys squeezed her hands, which gave her strength. "I knew it was harmful, it was dangerous. But I kept thinking I was in control. Until the day where I collapsed unconscious because I cut a bit too deep. That's when I showed my parents. They promised to get help, and I am still seeing a therapist every so often, to deal with it. Harry and Ron saw the scars, and told me what they'd been through. Then they made me tell them what each scar was for. I haven't had an urge since."

Mrs Granger got up and hugged the two boys. "Thank you, thank you so much," she said, her voice full of gratitude.

"It's what anyone would have done," Ron replied.

There was a pause, and then McGonagall spoke.

"If you would like to stay here for a few days, you are more than welcome to stay in one of the family suites," McGonagall said to the Granger parents.

They nodded their assent, and were sent along with a house elf.

"This brings me onto you, Mr Weasley. I have called your parents, and your brothers and sister should be here any minute."

Ron looked uncomfortable. Harry and Hermione pulled Ron into a hug.

"It will be fine." Ron nodded.

Mr and Mrs Weasley stepped out of the fireplace.

"What's wrong, Minerva?" Mrs Weasley asked.

"Let us wait for the others first."

As if on cue, Fred, George and Ginny walked into the room. Their eyes were slightly red, as if they had been crying. They rushed over to Ron and hugged him. Harry and Hermione scooted back a bit.

"Mr Weasley - Ron - Would you like to tell your parents what has happened in the past, or shall I?"

"When I was younger, about eleven or twelve, I walked to the lake near the Burrow, and I tried to commit suicide," Ron said bluntly and straightforwardly. He wanted to get this over with. "I was tired of not being good enough, of being mocked by the twins, of Mum blaming everything on me, even when it was someone else's fault, of being ignored so much. I am the sixth son of seven children, it's not like anyone would notice me gone. I wrote a suicide note, if you could even call it that, and went into the water. Then I thought of Harry and Hermione, and realised they were the only two people holding me together. I got out of the water, ripped up the note, put my shoes on, and fell asleep. Then Bill found me. He was the only one who realised I was gone. We, as in Harry, Hermione and I, we shared our stories this year, and I realised I'm not as alone as I thought. Harry was... abused, Hermione self-harmed, and I completed this trio as the one who tried to die." Ron's voice held a bitter edge. "We tried to run away, but got caught. Now we never will be able to make better lives for ourselves. What is there for us here? Only pain and suffering. Over Harry's head is trying to kill Voldemort, over Hermione's is the slur M-Mudblood, and over mine is being overshadowed and not being needed. So what is there here for us?"

Molly was in tears. Arthur looked stoic. They had no idea the trio felt that way. They promised to never leave any of their kids feeling so hopeless ever again.

Harry and Hermione were indifferent. Hearing about Ron's suicide attempt was always hard, as was talking about what Magical Britain held for them, and was talking about their plans to run away, because it reminded them what could have been. However, the three were masters at the blank mask, and the masks that they displayed which were what everyone expected of them.

McGonagall was wracked with guilt. She didn't know that they felt like they had no options left, and she felt terrible about it. Come to think of it, they didn't know much about Harry, Ron and Hermione. They only knew that they were the Golden Trio. One had not very good magical skills, one was smart, and the other was destined to save the world. That's all they knew.

Fred, George and Ginny had their mouths slightly open. They had no idea they had ostracised Ron so much that he felt running away or death were the only two options left. They vowed to be better siblings, and to be there. Was this how Percy felt?

After about ten minutes spent comforting each other, the Weasleys left. Harry hoped they had forgotten about him. But that was not to be.

"Don't think I've forgotten about you, Mr Potter. I've just called Sirius and Remus."

True to form, they came into the office, highly perplexed. Hermione and Ron could see through Harry's mask, and could see he was extremely nervous.

"Harry? What's wrong, Minerva?" Remus asked.

"I think Harry should tell you that himself. I'll leave you five alone, because I need to go and fire Umbridge, as the songs are probably done."

She left the office. 

"What's wrong, Harry?"

"I- er..."

"Spit it out Pup, come on," Sirius coaxed.

Harry reached for Ron and Hermione's hands instinctively. This did not go unnoticed by Remus.

"The Dursleys have never liked magic. They used to tell me that my parents were layabout drunks and died in a car crash, and I was just as useless as them. They blamed me for everything that went wrong. Uncle Vernon... liked to... well... whack me with things and his b-belt. One time it got really bad but they refused to take me to hospital, they left me in a puddle of my own blood. Everyone who I told in primary school got fired." Tears were streaming down Harry's face, and he closed his expression off. 

He refused to tell them any more, instead hiding in his brother and sisters' arms while he cried. A hand landed on his back and he flinched.

"Oh Pup, I'm so sorry," Sirius murmured.

Remus just lifted Harry out of his friend's arms and onto his lap.

"Would you... consent to showing us your back?"

Harry shook his head resolutely.

"Please, Cub, we need to see the worst of the damage."

Harry still shook his head and refused to budge on the matter. Remus sighed but kept Harry in his lap. They stayed like that for a bit, until McGonagall came back in.

"Sirius, Remus, you need to go now. I'll bring Harry round next weekend."

"I'll get custody over you, Pup," Sirius promised as he stepped into the fireplace. "12, Grimmauld Place!"

Ron, Hermione and Harry snuck off to their place near the astronomy tower, and spent hours holding each other until they all fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like the ending of this, but I never know how to end stories xD
> 
> Anyway...
> 
> That's the end of the first multi-chapter fic I've posted on here! I will write a happier story next, I promise :)


End file.
